chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page
layout is done with the internet explorer text size setting at largest and with a zoom of 125%, though i don't have an opinion on any correct size per se
links are in the times new roman font
something's
come
to
an
end
end
is
that ?
people
have
only
the
slightest
glimpse
of
who
they
are !
i
don't
think
blogs
work
particularly
well
they
are
too
one
sided
message
boards
run
properly
work
much
better
their
equal
opportunity
reflects
the
fundamental
equality
of
the
human
brain
much
better !
blogs
are
basically
empty !
miscavige
has
successfully
destroyed
scientology
everything
else
is
peripheral !
the
whole
hundred
years
of
solitude
thing !
on the skyline
a
star
over
a
tall
dead
gum
tree
who
is
there ?
there
is
just
nothing
and
no-one
enlightenment
is
like
god
a
garbage
concept
there's
something
to
it
there's
something
not
to
it !
why
don't
i
think
i
am
going
to
die ?
is
it
cause
i
was
never
alive ?
SNAP !
more
favoured
than
them
all ”
maybe
god
is
a
woman ?
dog
have
buddha
nature ? ”
have
souls ? ”
what
is
a
soul ?
those
who
live
their
lives
by
scripts
don't
know
the
real
thing
when
they
see
it !
i
think
zen/religion
is
scripting
the
masses
act
like
a homily
or
poem
coming
as
a whole
and not to be changed
the
point
is
you
are
inspired
there's
no
point
otherwise !
at
some
point
you
can
get
so
far
above
the
crowd
their
opinions
become
irrelevant !
the
disciples
are
not
and
never
can
be
the
john
tarrant
talented
but
a
fink
zen
was
wrong
for
him
he
should
have
listened
to
his
grand
father
who
knew
unlike
tarrant
or
zen !
doing nothing
or
something
both
are
pointless
one
is
not
worse
than
the
other !
you
shouldn't
do
anything
because
it's
pointless
but
that
is
pointless
too !
doing
something
as
though
it
matters
is
pointless !
the
web
spiders
love
my
website !
i
think
i
am
much
more
accepting
of
the
pointlessness
of
what
we
do
though
i
have
always
worked
that
way
as
though
there
is
a
future
it's
helpful
to
accept
it
in
myself
and
others !
crazy
but
so
am
i !
you
throw
a
generality
at
me
the
world ”
the
world ”
what
is
it
you
dislike
what
is
it
you
like
what
is
the
world?
understanding only comes in
the
moil
of
detail
not
casually
flung
clichés !
the
trouble
with
travelling
staying
at
religious
centers
is
you
get
imprinted
with
that
stuff
even
though
it's
rubbish
tho
why
do
i
feel
that
christianity
was
less
damaging
than
zen
and
tibetan
buddhism ?
the
thing
about
tibetan
buddhism
is
it
is
crazy
but
you
don't
expect
it
to
be
anything
but
crazy
well
mentally
retarded
but
all
buddhisms
are
that !
the
low
iodine
of
the
tibetan
plateau
or
lost
in
sweat
in
hot
asian
countries ?
a
star
red
and
green
and
white
flickering
bright
shafts
of
coloured
light !
is
schizophrenia
contagious ?
yes !
no !
not
if
you
are
sane !
to
escape
the
moil
of
detail
you
need
a
correct
general
overview
which
is
the
moil
of
detail !
what
is
bullshit
and
what
is
not ?
zen
is
incredibly
destructive
it's
destructive
because
it's
50%
bullshit
and
50%
truth !
past
and
future
don't
really
exist
in
time
the
past
is
what
cannot
be
changed
and
the
future
is
what
can
be
changed
and
you can
see
that
the
past
and
future
are
in
each
other
in
that
somethings
in
the
future
cannot
be
changed
because of the past in it and the past can be be changed
by getting
different
perspectives
on
what
has
occurred !
mostly
the
poems
and
homilies
i
write
come
complete
and
only
rarely
do
i
make
changes !
i'm
glad
you
understand
the
poem
because
i
don't
hopefully
what
i
write
is
too
idiosyncratic
to
be
easily
ripable
poetry
is
really
a
fusion
between
imagination
and
the
real
and
can
describe
surreal
worlds
that
have
no
parallel
in
reality !
the
written
page
used
to
be
the
dominant
media
form !
it's
not
now
it
has
to
compete
with
tube
an
audience
is
an
unreal
phantasm
what
is
solitude
why
is
solitude
so
important
it
is
the
as
itself !
hypocrisy
is
an
inconsistent
action
between
your
own
benefit
and
others !
women !
butter
wouldn't
melt
in
their
mouths
unless
you
are
a child
; o )
the
real
rulers
are
women
no
wonder
the
world
is
so
bizzare !!!!!
against
a
good
suggestion ”
why
not
i've
been
doing
that
all
my
life
this name
is
not
what
i
am
buzz
the
Paul
died
has
the
world
ceased
or
has
it
continued
has
the
notion
of
ceasing
ceased ?
zen
and
advaita
branches
in
front
of
the
moon !
i
do
suffer
from
more
than
you ”
syndrome : o )
why
is
solitude
so
important ?
because
we
are
universes !
religion
is
an
inferior
station
to
the
inadequacy
of
talking
within
a
generation !
you
don't
read
goethe
pessoa
keats
dickinson
schopenhauer
heraclitus
the
list
is
endless
life
doesn't
get
happier
it's
all
brain
chemistry !
life's
a
killing
field
top
to
bottom
start
to
finish
it
always
is !
impermanent ”
twisting
your
brain
around
stupidities
i
don't
bother
nothing
goes
according
to
plan !
except
disruption !
an
old
head
and
young
heart
that's
the
way
to
live !
dealing
with
other
people
all
the
time
destroys
your
sense
of
what
it's
about !
who
have
never
felt
the
real
thing !
the
world
is
not
better
for
things
going
right
or
worse
for
it
going
wrong !
if
you
are
so
far
ahead
of
the
pack
it's
not
funny
what
will
the
pack
do
kill
you
when
they
catch
you !
Humans
have
ever
fought
forever
fought !
the
whole
point
of
this
writing
is
i
don't
have
to
engage
in
argument
or
explanation
with
people
it's
there
you
can
read
it
if
you
want
or
not
if
you
don't
it's
incredibly
don't
have
to
partake
of
peoples
lives
with
all
their
murky
grubbiness
people
who
have
never
hunted
don't
know
that
sense
of
identity
with
you
have
killed !
springwater
discarded
the
new
generation
have
nothing
to
offer
anyway
same
with
mt.
tremper
and
it's
offspring
myotai
was
the
only
one
with
any
clues
but
cfs
etc
like
george
bowman
out
of
the
running
what
else
the
advaita
nutcases
tolle
gangiji
mooji
not
quite
nothing
to
offer
but
i
will
have
to
let
life
present
whatever
i
need
to
know !
katie
byron
dementia
or
something
; o )
anyway
she's
lost
it
if
she
ever
had
it!
the
new
zealand
zen
society
john
jim
richard
charlotte
dale
paul
etc.
all
gone
never
want
to
see
them
again
all
discarded
maybe
i
can
get
on
with
my
life
again
except
that
disappeared
a
long
time
ago
so
i
don't
know
just
keep
moving
forward
in
what
looks
like
and
ultimately
tests
to
be
right
directions
i
am
wife
sure !
a
woman's
need
for
a
man
is
so
strong
they
are
not
designed
to
live
by
themselves
i
don't
think
men
are
either
but
it's
not
catastrophic !
is
the
world
sane
or
not ?
no
it
is
insane
as
its
normative
state ?
it
is
insane
as
its
normative
state !
you
might
think
that
people
are
sane
at
the
personal
level
but
they
are
not !
when
you
see
the
clunkiness
and
mismatch
of
words
sound
appearance
and
meaning
that's
when
you
start
to
write !
what
is
the
truth
of
adoption ?
well
every
child
is
adopted
cuckoos
in
the
nest !
quite interesting how as we get older all the factors combine to force our eventual death, brain crapping out nixes the cardio-system which nixes the brain more
another vicous circle!
where you have health issues it's always a vicous circle thats the problem !
as elaine gottschall pointed out , you have to break the vicous circle to fix it !
an
intelligent
woman!
is
it
to
see
dead
people ?
life
something
disappears
something
arises
and
something
disappears
again !
eckhart
tolle
is
a
nutter
and
you
are
too !
a
kiss
is
just
a
preparation
for
her
body
it's
just
like
travelling
the
longer
you
travel
the
further
you
go
and and
you
never
really
leave
anywhere
or
arrive
anywhere !
books
and
newspapers
are
a
nostalgia
for
a
world
that
no
longer
exists
as
with
any
nostalgia
it
can
take
several
generations
to
wipe it
out !
the
property
theft !
how
long
to
i
have
to
live
to
make
sure
my
poems
and
homilies
survive ?
160 ?
no
fulfillment
itsalljustAghastlymesstillwedie !
eckhart
tolle
is
a
sheep
fleecer
on
him !
amanda
baggs
i
was
wondering
what
your
limitations
are
you
are
a
genius
but
it's
like
your
moon
and
picture
the
moon
is
not
any
less
but
the
cats
are !
that
painting
is
so
clearly
you
the
WHOLE
of
it !
i
think
you
are
over
boundarized
unfortunately
inducted
by
those
pyschiatric
meds
you
had
as
achild !
i
guess
message
boards
are
the
new
entertainment
for
old
age
or
r
they
too
demanding ?
the
art
market
is
nothing
to
do
with
talent
and
merit
and
everything
to
do
with
money !
old
age
and
message
boards
: o (
in
his
late
90's
my
grandfather
used
to
watch
the
teletubbies
i
guess
message
boards
are
not
so
bad !
i
lose
myself
in
what
i
write
all
the
time !
if
you
can
lose
yourself
in
it
it's
art
by
that
definition
weiwei
and
monet
are
artists
and
warhol
and
hirst
are
not
go
suck
eggs
investors !
big
famous
fighter
high
priest
synthesis ?
3000
years
nothing's
changed !
suddenly
there's
no
rules
only
your
own
centrality
holds
sway !
that's
how
life
really
is !
it's
sorta
like
i
have
lost
interest
in
life
keeping
myself
alive
doing
all
the
necessaries
what's
the
point ?
all
the
necessary
detail
to
keep
things
on
track
i
find
fatiguing
can't
be
bothered
but
if
i
don't
things
get
catastrophic
VERY
QUICKLY !
famous
men
what
with
contraception
and
modern
mores
there's
too
many
predatory
women
around
to
whom
sex
is
not
a
big
deal
so
if
you
have
the
inclination ..............
what's
wrong
with
twitter ?
no
i
am
too
do
anything
except
mass
enlightenment
they
may
not
think
of
themselves
a
s
crazy
but
they
are !
life
is
just
the
endless
of
dreams
what
is
art
is
a
question
of
i
can
say
something
or
i
can
say
it's
opposite
it
doesn't
really
matter
you
have
to
work
it
out !
genius
gets
a
lot
of
hostility
from
inferior
talents !
never
made
the
transition
from
being
a
blogosphere
denizen
to
being
you
own
person
and
producing
quality ?
HUH ?
is
it
right
that
the
world
goes
wrong ?
yes !
i
am
prejudiced
against
" "
but
not
“ ”
glaring
moon
white
clouds
clear
air
what
i
have
discovered
is
that
it
is
the
better
writing
that
gets
deleted
stalin
said
that
paper
can
bear
the
weight
of
anything
written
upon
it !
how
true !
one of the big secrets i have learnt with writing is it is part of you and when posting on boards or blogs you have no control of, if the owner or moderator removes your post it's taking damage so usually now i also put what i write up on my own website
like i will do this with post and i don't feel i am injured
i seem to being less removed now, more skilled i think at telling people what they don't want to hear without them being able to in all conscience remove me
yet only the daybefore yesterday i was removed on a you tube board, baci films for asking a few reasonable questions
i don't even know if this will go through
gives a continual “over the boundary” edge to what i write
i actually think it's me being outside any boundaries that excites the reaction and those well on autistic spectrum can be the worst in my experience, clutching their illusions of the value and possible return to “normality”
the main problem with hypergraphia is simply that you can spend all day writing and as you get more proficient in developing your thoughts and writing the activity subsumes everything and i am thinking how to step back?
sometimes
i
get
tired
of
tossing
diamonds
at
people
and
being
ignored
i
think
i
am
just
going
to
play
with
them
mostly
we
are
only
ever
half
right
about
anything
einstein
right
as
he
was
about
relativity
was
wrong
about
quantum
mechanics
and
god !
the
egyptians
are
a
confused
race
i
suppose
it
has
always
been
that
way !
properly
seen
man
is
the
very sophisticated
real artists usually die young and poor
yeah and the blow flies make money for the next one thousand years
yeah it's not of this planet, but from the “planet imagination seeded by what's on this planet”
it's not just a simple hoax tho written by john dee and edward kelly
the
meaning
in
meaninglessness !
the
market has basically gone out of painting cause of the web reproducing it so easily
so he's gone to solids and 3d with this kicker
he builds in intrinsic value to the sculpture or solid with say gold in this case also famously diamonds on a skull (tachy that)
so it's worth something regardless of any artistic value (i like the calf one, but the diamond encrusted skulls are only worth the diamonds !)
there seems to be a huge multiplier if you get artistic value, large solids, and intrinsic material value together
understanding
another
person
is
quite
difficult
we
always
understand
ourselves
maybe
sometimes
i
used
to
believe
there
was
some
point
to
everything
i
don't
typical
of
this
world
that
people
worry
about haarp
while
putting
radio
transmitters
called
mobile
phones
to
their
heads
at
least
several
times
a
day !
henry
darger
i
think
he
was
abit
intellectually
retarded
but
it
was
still
a
work
of
the
voynich
manuscript
a
lot
of
sea
life !
some
similarities
to
henry darger !
prodigies
can
do
what
adults
do
a
s
a
child
unfortunately
the
vast
majority
seem
not
to
develop
and
can
only
do
as
adults
what
they
did
a
s
a
child
premature
blooming
with
a
huge
cost !
too
early
forming
i
think !
wow
a
vision !
a
big
very
thick
paper
back
book
called
scientology
with the pages flicking through
quickly
i
think
that
means
it's
mortal
time
is
pretty
well
done
perhaps
i
think
the
real
meaning
is
that
the
whole
of
what
we
call
the
real
aspect
of
the
scientology
cult
was
a
book
written
by
ron
hubbard
like
one
hundred
years
of
solitude
played
out
in
real
life !
i
think
i
am
getting
a
bit
happier
about
being
mad !
right
or
wrong
rejected
or
accepted
doesn't
matter
what
i
am
looking
for
is
which
way
the
wind
is
blowing
rejected
tells
you
more !
something
goes
wrong
that's
the
time
to
ask
what
are
the
with
the
priorities !
advaita
the
structural
viewpoint
is
wrong !
not enough acid you stupid farts !
a
dulled
knife
that
can’t
cut
shit
the
old
news
media
are
doomed !
i
think
ghosts
can
only
harm
you
if
you
have
a
tendency
to
self
injury
advertent
i
suppose !
ghosts
in
one
sense
it's
the
product
of
the
imagination
in
another
sense
it's
real
synchronicity
moxon's
daughter
why
was
she
called
up?
suicide
i
don't
know
unhappy
yes
miserable
yes !
maybe she didn't want to be forgotten
if
you
are
among
the
dead
you
are
going
to
see
ghosts
just
hope
they
are
not
too
harmful !
it
takes
a
lot
of
connection
for
a
ghost
to
appear
but
it
can
happen !
scientology
not
especially
sinister
just
the
usual
human
mordancy !
hi jeff, though never involved with scientology i related thoroughly to your story from both work experiences and being in boarding school and later zen !
you know what really stands out ! you have a huge abilities and were the right person to run scientology and not miscavige ! others would have thought this too, no wonder he was physically abusive to you, you were always an indictment of him
if you had been the leader scientology would be in a totally different position today
in my view your experience of the time when you found the baby rabbits and kept that tree trunk slice was a fundamental experience of the true nature of existance and i hope it develops further for you
i hope this message finds you in good health ! in the end i haven't noticed a lot of justice in life and health is the one thing we always carry with us and it warrants attention !
we
all
overlook
the
central
fact
of
life
don't
exist
hubbard wrote
nonsense
some
things
you
can't
deconstruct
they have to deconstruct themselves
or
die !
the
i
looked
out
at
the
stars
and
the
sea
and
the
distant
hills
and
all
that
mattered
was
being
at
one
with
infinity !
you
won't
understand
me
but
you
are
quite
mad
you
will
never
see
it
i
can
see
my
own
madness
or
get
little
glimpses
anyway !
is
life's
central
vein
boarding schools are cults
sports
alcohol
the absent opposite sex !
what
a
woman
wants
just
don't
be
an
exhausted
wreck
am
decompressing
30 seconds
35? years ago when a scientologist in downtown auckland tried to get me interested in a interview !
there
is
a
madness
that
looks
like
sanity
and
an
insanity
that
is
in
fact
sane !
parallels
are
astounding !
scientology
eats
people
alive
for
the
benefit
of
the
hierarchy
that
classes
it
as
a
religion !
i
think
with
couples
or
relationship
there
is
a
certain
natural
distance
in
some
areas
even
antagonism
and
closeness
in
others !
scientology
just
a
slave
and
bosses
system
bit
blatant
actually !
scientology
are
absolute
anal
retentives
unbelievable
mentally
retarded to
boot
is
a
control
freak !
the
pre
internet
world
seems
like
a
distant
dream
is
it
so
long
ago ?
is
this
something
or
just
wasted
energy ?
is
this
a
good
use
of
energy ?
look
at
it
through
tomorrow's
fresh
brain
sugars
when
you
put
someone
in
a
fork
let
them
work
it
out
that
is
what
they
say
happens !
women think
men
are
so
dumb
it's
breathtaking
fortunately
they have
breath
are we doing
something
meaningful
or
are
we
just
wasting
our
lives ?
what's
the
difference ?
there's
no
point
to
anything
even
writing
this !
all
women
are
difficult
they
really
have
quite
different
agendas !
bosses
versus
the
working
classes
actually
a
talk
i
don't
feel
my
brain
sugars
are
upto
it !
do
you
feel
yours
are
up
to
it?
the
huffington
post
is
a
sophisticated
farm !
aol
has
always
machine
gunned
itself
through
the
head
uri
geller
people
want
to
believe
but
he
got
things
very
wrong
james
randi
and
those
football
predictions !
charismatic
ability
shot
down
by
itself !
governments
are
proxies
for
bureaucracies !
women
their
hormone
wrapped
brains !
message
boards
and
blogs
are
battlefields
and
war
they
never
let
up
and
they
are
always
the
same !
in
my
general
experience
atheists
and
rancid
what
is
it
about
the
internet ?
some
of
these
people
are
the
maddest
of
the
mad !
i
neither
believe
or
disbelieve
in
god
if
you
believe
or
disbelieve
you
have
taken
a
short
cut
and
have
no
certainty !
unsolicited
sales
calls
are
an
opportunity
to
practice
being
polite
when
you
are
aggravated
there
is
one
form
of
art
that
is
open
to
everybody
writing
highly
intelligent
people
often
have
no
boundaries !
or
mad
ones
at
least !
see
madness
is
not
quite
what
it
seems !
can
be
productive
a
s
well
as
unproductive !
hard
drug
users
can
be
bloody
smart
smart !
women
are
more
sensibly
cautious
than
men !
i
know
your
type
the
world
is
full
of
them
anonymously
great
insight
into
human
character
that !
no name
no
pain ?
the
yellow
bellies
come
out
of
the
wood
work
don’t
they !
we
stand
before
the
smoking
volcano
ignoring
it
worrying
about
which
direction
the
wind
is
blowing !
destroyed the pink and white terraces
mothers
poem
the Hazard family,
Sick and tired of cold and ice
They wanted to be free.
My great grandparents were missionary,
by the maori much revered,
One night a phantom canoe appeared
and brought a chilling fear.
What could happen on this calm lake
where fish and heron swim,
is this a terrible warning sign
of tragedy to come?
A distant rumble started then,
the folk in Rotorua heard it,
and puffs of smoke came from the crown
of brooding Mt. Tarawera.
My grandmother Maude and sister Betty.
had gone to stay in Auckland
the change of air would suit the girls
so weak from scarlet fever.
Great grand-father Charles stood at the door
the mountain was on fire,
"Stay inside and hold the babe ,
he is so very young."
"Ruth take Charles , the air is thick,
and to the hen-house run,
God has wrought what he has wrought
and all we can do is pray."
The beam fell on my great grand-mother
the babe she held was killed
My great grand-fathers mouth was filled with ash
and the lava burnt like hell.
Poor Uncle Charles and nurse maid Ruth,
were killed by poisonous gases,
the lava flowed and flowed and flowed
and all was quiet and still.
Poor old Sophie survived alone,
buried in her small Whare,
The Maori came and fed her food,
The Tapu had been lifted.
everything moves on, but i remember the beauty of the lake and surrounds
annette unfortunately died of breast cancer and her husband remarried my mother's sister
it was hard to find a nicer person than annette
there
is
no
such
thing
as
if
there
is
it
evolves
after
an
awful
lot
of
moil
and
time
like
20
or
thirty
years !
i
have
learnt
to
take
the
internet
is
breaking
up
some
things
particularly
where
there
is
a
degree
of
coercion
from
restricted
information
politics
religion
education
life
medicine !
rupert
murdoch's
second
wife
must
have
been
too
nice
since
he
was
keen
to
go
through
the
whole
business
again !
wealthy
old
men
fall
prey
to
something
i
don't
know
what
the
smaller
an
animal
is
the
more
food
is
available
to
it !
of
course
the
more
it
is
available
as
food
to
other
larger
animals
: o )
the
principle
problem
of
the
net
is
getting
dragged
into
other
lives
that
have
nothing
or
very
little
to
do
with
you !
john
went
a
bit
early
for
for
life
to
make
any
sense
all
that
work
and
semi
bullshit
and
all
that
is
left
are
some
not
very
good
movies !
i
don't
know
how
long
the
monastery
will
last
without
him
but
then
he
kicked
out
the
only
person
capable
of
making
it
survive
namely that this page is drivel, but then so is the whole site !
candyfloss
is
it
possible ?
YES !
instant ”
that
momentary
flash
when
something
sacred
passes
the
minds
eye !
bunch
of
concrete
layers !
if
women
could
self
inseminate
and
do
without
men
i
think
they
would
at
least
one
i
know
would !
; o )
i
think
i'm
saying
time
is
more
primary
than
space
space
somehow
evolves
out
of
time !
maybe
time
has
no
dimension !
english
departments
have
always
attracted
schizophrenics !
time
is
like
a
field
it's
not
linear
sequential
and
different
points
in
time
can
be
coincident
what
does
this
mean
for
physics ?
i
haven't
noticed
it's
true
for
space !
like
pessoa
was
an
alcoholic
i
am
a
net
aholic !
we
all
say
we
know
what
god
is
but
what
is
god ?
net
advertizers
selling
their
product
nobody
reads
them
the
emperor
has
no
clothes !
it's
very
hard
and
takes
a
long
time
to
build
an
accurate
picture
of
anything !
in
hindsight
i
think
new
zealand
was
unusual
such
a
small
place
with
village
like
conformity
what
i
notice
with
you
is
you
are
anti -
artistic
that
is
you
have
no
appreciation
of
the
artistic
side
of
life !
for
instance
free
form
verse
you
out !
is
religion
like
substance
abuse?
it
has
parallels
good
feeling
over
reality !